< Previous80 Vol. 25/11, October 2024 Leadership Skills The neuroscience behind transforming awkward exchanges into genuine connections is simpler than you might think WORDS BY TALA MICHEL ISSA THE ART OF MEANINGFUL CONVERSATIONS In today’s hyper-connected world, it seems ironic that meaningful, face-to-face conversation is becom- ing a lost ar t. We ’ re more “connected” than ever, thanks to tech- nology, yet somehow, we’re losing touch with the ability to have real conversa- tions. We may spend hours a day texting, tweeting, or messaging, but when it comes to engaging in a genuine, in-per- son dialogue, many of us feel out of practice. As our reliance on digital communication increases, face-to-face interactions are becoming more chal- something most of us can relate to. Yet there’s a good reason why we dread social rejection so deeply. In our tribal past, being ostracised meant almost certain death – social bonds were not just emotional niceties but survival necessities. Fast forward to today, and while the stakes aren’t quite as high, the social anxiety remains. However, neuroscience reveals that it’s possible to transfor m these moments of awkwardness into oppor- tunities for connection. A deeper understanding of the psychology of lenging, yet they remain crucial to build- ing relationships, advancing careers, and enriching our personal lives. But why does this matter? In an age where we can send a message across the globe in seconds, is there really still value in old-fashioned face-to-face conversation? According to science, the answer is a resounding yes. Let’s face it: Awkward silences, nerv- ous fidgeting, and blank stares during networking events can make anyone break out in a cold sweat. The fear of fumbling through a conversation is ABE_2511_80-83_Conversation_13377459.indd 8029/09/2024 09:54arabianbusiness.com81 Leadership Skills communication can unlock the art of meaningful conversation. The neurochemistry of connection Human interaction isn’t just about exchanging words – it’s about chemistry. Positive social interactions trigger a powerful mix of feel-good hormones, like dopamine, oxytocin, and endor- phins. These neurochemicals don’t just make us feel good; they play a crucial role in bonding us to one another. Dr. Sam Menon, a clinical psycholo- gist at Dubai’s Thrive Wellbeing Centre, explains the power of these neurochemi- cals. Dopamine, often referred to as the “reward hormone”, gives us that boost of satisfaction when we do something pleas- urable, whether it’s eating your favourite dessert or successfully navigating a tricky conversation. Oxytocin, the so-called “love hormone”, is released during moments of social bonding – like spend- ing time with loved ones or engaging in a warm, empathetic conversation. Endor- phins, our body’s natural painkillers, are released during moments of laughter or physical activity, easing tension and enhancing feelings of well-being. “Conversations that make us feel good trigger higher levels of dopamine, oxytocin, and endorphins, which in turn activate networks in our prefrontal cortex. This enhances our ability to collaborate, communicate, and trust,” says Menon. In other words, a meaning- ful conversation can do more than just improve your mood – it can change your brain, making you feel more connected, more trusting, and more engaged with the world around you. Tanya Dharamshi, Counselling Psychologist at Lighthouse Arabia, elab- orates on this process. “When we feel heard, there is an activation of the reward system in our brain. This releases dopa- mine, which occurs when we receive affirmations and acknowledgement, such as verbal agreement, nodding, and empa- thetic responses.” Simply being heard – truly heard – can trigger a flood of feel-good chemi- cals, reinforcing the connection between two people. This neurochemical response doesn’t just feel good in the moment – it strengthens relationships over time. Every positive interaction builds on the last, creating a cycle of trust, connec- tion, and collaboration. And while this may sound like an ideal outcome, there’s more to achieving it than just showing up and nodding along. Creating mean- ingful connections through conversation takes practice, and it requires a skill we often underestimate – listening. The power of active listening Great conversations aren’t about saying the most interesting or clever things – they’re about listening. And not just nodding along while the other person speaks. Real, active listening is a skill that can transfor m even the most mundane exchange into a deeply meaningful connection. Dr. Carla Marie Manly, author of The Joy of Imperfect Love, has spent years working with individuals and couples, helping them navigate the complexities of communication. She says one of the most common complaints she hears is that people don’t feel listened to. “Whether in romantic partnerships, friendships, family situations, or work settings, those who feel truly listened to – those who feel ‘seen and heard’ – tend to be among the most satisfied in those rela- tionships,” she explains. On a psychological level, this makes perfect sense. When we feel heard, we feel safe. And this sense of safety is deeply rooted in our evolutionary past. “This foundational sense of safety allows us to move through our days with more assurance and ease,” says Manly. Feeling heard and acknowledged reas- sures our brains that we’re in a secure, supportive environment. It’s no wonder that active listening is such a powerful tool for building relationships. Active listening, as defined by Menon, involves more than just sitting quietly while someone speaks. It means fully engaging with the conversation – asking thoughtful questions, following up on statements, and using non-verbal cues like eye contact and body language to A meaningful conversation can do more than just improve your mood – it can change your brain, making you feel more connected, more trusting, and more engaged ABE_2511_80-83_Conversation_13377459.indd 8129/09/2024 09:5482 Vol. 25/11, October 2024 Leadership Skills show you’re present and paying atten- tion. It’s about being fully in the moment, which, in our fast-paced, multitasking world, is easier said than done. Christina Rahme, Clinical Psycholo- gist at the Human Relations Institute and Clinics, offers practical advice on how to become a better listener. “Active listening involves fully concentrating, understand- ing, responding, and remembering what the other person says,” she says. Tech- niques such as nodding, using verbal affirmations like “I see” or “I under- stand,” and paraphrasing the speaker’s points can go a long way in showing that you’re truly engaged in the conversation. The art of asking questions Listening is essential, but so is knowing how to ask the right questions. A well- placed, thoughtful question can take a conversation from superficial chit-chat to deep connection. Menon recommends approaching each interaction with genuine curiosity. “Ask open-ended questions that start with ‘why, what, who, when, and how.’ Instead of asking, ‘Did you like the event?’ try ‘What was your favourite part of the event?’ or ‘Why did that moment stand out to you?’” she advises. the very skills that build trust and understanding in personal interactions. For some, the rise of digital commu- nication has also exacerbated social anxiety. People who feel more comfort- able hiding behind a screen may find in-person interactions even more daunt- ing. “The lack of practice in real-world settings can contribute to discomfort in social situations,” Rahme says. So, what’s the solution? While digital tools can certainly enhance communi- cation, they should complement – not replace – face-to-face conversations. Understanding the value of in-person communication can help us foster deeper, more meaningful relationships, both in our personal lives and at work. The philosopher Plato had his concerns about the evolution of commu- nication long before smar tphones existed. In his dialogue Phaedrus, Plato warned that the invention of writing would weaken our ability to engage in face-to-face conversation. He feared that written words would replace the rich, dynamic interaction of oral dialogue, reducing the depth of our communication. Fast forward to today, and his concerns seem more relevant than ever. While we may not be losing our ability to speak to one another, our reliance on digital communication is eroding the quality of our conversations. The importance of face-to-face communication So, what makes face-to-face communi- cation so important? Why not just stick to texting or emails? It turns out that in-person conversations offer something that digital communication simply can’t: Non-verbal cues. “Solid eye contact, a gentle smile, open body posture, focused attention (e.g., avoiding mobile phone use), and an attitude of respect are critical elements of a truly great conversation,” says Manly. These non-verbal signals reinforce the words we speak, adding depth and emotional nuance to our interactions. Menon adds that non-verbal communication can even substitute for words entirely. “Furrowing your brows or using a softer voice when expressing These types of questions encourage the other person to reflect and share more deeply, giving you insight into their thoughts and feelings. Asking follow-up questions shows that you’re paying attention and that you’re genuinely interested in the other per son’s exper ience. If someone mentions a favourite book or film, don’t just let the conversation end there. Ask what they enjoyed about it or why it resonated with them. This kind of curi- osity not only keeps the conversation flowing but also signals to the other person that you value their perspective. Technology’s impact on communication While technology can certainly make communication more convenient, it also risks weakening the quality of our inter- actions. Platforms like Zoom, while great for long-distance communication, can create what researchers call “Zoom fatigue” – a feeling of exhaustion that comes from too much screen time. According to Rahme, relying too heavily on digital communication can erode essential face-to-face skills, such as reading body language, maintaining eye contact, and active listening. These are Understanding the value of in-person communication can help us foster deeper, more meaningful relationships, both in our personal lives and at work ABE_2511_80-83_Conversation_13377459.indd 8229/09/2024 09:10arabianbusiness.com 83 Leadership Skills 20% Humans only remember 20 percent of the conversations they hear, according to American educator Edgar Dale sympathy can show genuine empathy more effectively than words alone,” she explains. This kind of emotional expres- sion is difficult – if not impossible – to convey through text or email. Furthermore, face-to-face commu- nication helps us build trust. When we sit across from someone, make eye contact, and engage with their body language, we’re more likely to feel a sense of connection and trust. Philoso- pher Ludwig Wittgenstein famously said: “The limits of my language mean the limits of my world.” While our words are important, Wittgenstein reminds us that language alone has its limitations. Our non-verbal communication often says just as much, if not more, than the words we speak. Philosophical reflections Throughout history, philosophers have understood the importance of real, in-person conversation. Socrates, known for his method of questioning, believed that true understanding could only be achieved through dialogue. His elenchus method wasn’t just about asking ques- tions but about engaging deeply with others to explore ideas and challenge assumptions. Imagine trying to conduct the Socratic method over text – safe to say it wouldn’t be quite as effective. Even Aristotle, in his writings on friendship, argued that meaningful rela- tionships are built on mutual exchange and dialogue. “Without friends, no one would choose to live, though he had all other goods,” Aristotle wrote. For him, deep conversations were a cornerstone of friend- ship, something that can’t be easily repli- cated through digital communication. German philosopher Martin Heide- gger, too, warned about the alienation of modern technology. While he lived long before the age of smartphones, his critique of technology’s impact on human experience seems eerily prescient today. He believed that technology had the potential to distance us from real, authentic experiences, including our interactions with one another. Embrace connection As we continue to navigate a world that is increasingly digital, the ability to connect deeply with others may become one of the most valuable skills we can cultivate. Whether you’re at a network- ing event or simply catching up with an old friend, remember that it’s not about perfection – it’s about connection. A well-placed question, a listening ear, and a bit of curiosity can go a long way in turning a mundane interaction into something meaningful. As Dharamshi aptly puts it: “When we leave an interaction feeling heard and seen, there is deep anchoring of a poten- tial relationship that can be formed.” So, the next time you find yourself in conversation – whether it’s a work meeting or a family gathering – put away your phone, ask thoughtful questions, and truly listen. You might just discover that the person sitting across from you has more to say than you ever realised. Solid eye contact, a gentle smile, open body posture, focused attention, and an attitude of respect are critical elements of a truly great conversation Active listening involves fully concentrating, understanding, responding, and remembering what the other person says ABE_2511_80-83_Conversation_13377459.indd 8329/09/2024 09:1084 Vol. 25/11, October 2024 Fashion ABE_2511_84-90_Briefcase Journey_13401712.indd 8429/09/2024 09:11arabianbusiness.com 85 Fashion How an ancient carry-all evolved into the ultimate status symbol for professionals everywhere WORDS BY KATE-LYNNE WOLMARANS THE JOURNEY OF THE BRIEFCASE P icture this: You’re walking into a meeting, dressed in your shar pest suit, and beside you is your trusty briefcase – sturdy, sleek, and brim- ming with paperwork, or maybe just your laptop and a sandwich. Regard- less, the briefcase you carry speaks volumes about who you are. It’s more than just a practical tool; it’s a state- ment of purpose, professionalism, and – let's be honest – status. But the humble briefcase wasn’t always the sleek accessory we know today. Its history is as layered as the leather from which it's made, with roots stretching back centuries. In fact, the story of the briefcase is a fascinating journey from simple necessity to full-blown icon. And believe it or not, the briefcase remains relevant even in our digital age. So, how did this once-bulky, utilitarian bag become a symbol of corporate power? And why are people still toting them around today, despite laptops and cloud storage making physical documents almost obsolete? Let’s dive in. A Roman revolution Before the polished leather bags of the 21st century, there were Roman soldiers, and instead of briefcases, they carried something called a “loculus,” which is Latin for “little place.” These early versions were basically rugged leather pouches strapped to their bodies – certainly more practical than stylish. Roman soldiers needed a way to carry their money, maps, and other important documents while they were off conquer- ing the world, and thus the concept of a bag designed for essential papers was born. Practical? Absolutely. Stylish? Not exactly. But it was a start. Fast forward to the 14th century, and the evolution continued. As trade across Europe began to boom, merchants found themselves in desper- ate need of something sturdier and more professional than a simple pouch. Enter the larger document bags, which were the great-great-grandparents of the modern briefcase. These leather satchels were built to endure long journeys, heavy cargo, and the rough-and-tumble life of a medieval merchant. ABE_2511_84-90_Briefcase Journey_13401712.indd 8529/09/2024 09:1186 Vol. 25/11, October 2024 Fashion However, the real game-changer came in the 19th century. With indus- trialisation in full swing, businesses grew, and so did the need for serious document transportation. Enter the “brief case,’ designed specifically for carrying “briefs” – legal documents, in this case. The French, ever the pioneers of fashion and style, introduced the “porte-documents” in the 1820s, a more refined version of the medieval docu- ment satchel. But it wasn’t until the mid-1800s that a clever Frenchman named Godillot decided to add a hinged iron frame to the bag, giving birth to the first modern briefcase. This simple inno- vation turned a floppy satchel into a sturdy, sleek, and – most importantly – professional-looking accessory. The briefcase hits its stride By the early 20th century, briefcases had Post-World War II, as the global economy boomed, the corporate world exploded. The briefcase evolved into the must-have accessory for the modern businessman. Sleeker, more streamlined designs began to emerge. Think leather and chrome clasps, with an almost architectural precision. These weren’t just bags; they were symbols of power, ambition, and success. The 1980s, peak briefcase While briefcases had been steadily gain- ing popularity, it was in the 1980s that truly catapulted them into the spotlight. If the 1960s and 1970s made briefcases cooler – think aluminium cases popu- larised by companies like Zero Hallibur- ton – then the 80s made them iconic. The rise of the “yuppie” generation – a term used to describe young, urban professionals – created a demand for all From its humble beginnings as a Roman soldier’s pouch to its status as a 21st- century power symbol, the briefcase has come a long way. It has evolved, adapted, and endured become essential gear for anyone in the business world, especially in professions like law, finance, and government. These early briefcases were typically heavy- duty leather constructions, built to last and designed for function over fashion. But even then, they hinted at something more – a status symbol that separated the professionals from the amateurs. The interwar years of the 1920s and 1930s saw briefcases grow in popularity as they became more refined and widely available. Businessmen needed some- thing to carry their papers, but they also needed to make a statement. After all, in a world of bowler hats and three- piece suits, your briefcase had to keep up appearances. Function met form, and the briefcase slowly transitioned from a simple carrier to an accessory that said, “I’m important, and I have important things in here.” ABE_2511_84-90_Briefcase Journey_13401712.indd 8629/09/2024 10:1588 Vol. 25/11, October 2024 Fashion things that signified status, and the briefcase was at the top of the list. Imagine it: Oversized suits, shoul- der pads, and a leather briefcase that cost more than some people’s cars. That was the power accessory of the decade. Briefcases were no longer just functional; they were fashionable, a statement piece that every Wall Street executive or high-powered lawyer needed. In fact, having the right brief- case was almost as important as the job itself. You couldn’t walk into a boardroom without one. Are briefcases still relevant today? As we’ve moved into the digital age, many thought the briefcase would become a relic of the past, much like the typewriter or the rotary phone. After all, with laptops, tablets, and cloud storage, who needs a heavy bag to carry paper? But while the briefcase may no longer be an absolute necessity, it’s far from obsolete. Today, the briefcase is less about carrying documents and more about making a statement. It’s still a staple in many industries, particularly in law, finance, and government. According to recent market reports, the global brief- case industry generates an impressive $1.2bn annually. Since its inception, the briefcase has brought in an estimated $50bn, solidifying its place as more than just a passing trend. The nations where briefcases remain most common? You’ll still find them in abundance in the UK, Japan, Germany, and the United States, especially in indus- tries that value tradition and profession- alism. In Japan, for example, business etiquette is of utmost importance, and a well-crafted briefcase is still considered the gold standard in corporate attire. But briefcases aren’t just about carry- ing stuff – they’re about sending a message. Carrying a briefcase today says, “I’m serious about my work,” and, depending on the design, it may also say, “I’ve got style.” The many faces of the briefcase Just like the people who carry them, briefcases come in all shapes, sizes, and workforce in greater numbers. The first women’s briefcase is commonly credited to Gucci, which introduced a sleek leather briefcase for women in 1975. Priced at around $250 at the time (equivalent to roughly $1,300 today), this briefcase was designed to be both functional and fashionable, bridging the gap between the practical needs of a briefcase and the stylish desires of female professionals. It wasn’t long before high-profile women in business and politics adopted the briefcase as their own. Margaret Thatcher, Britain’s first female Prime Minister, famously carried a structured leather briefcase, helping to solidify the bag’s place in women’s fashion. The briefcase became more than just a tool – it was a symbol of empowerment and professionalism for women in a male-dominated world. styles. The classic hard-shell briefcase, usually made of leather or aluminium, remains a favourite among traditional- ists. These are the briefcases that scream professionalism and authority. Then there’s the soft leather briefcase, a more relaxed but still polished option, perfect for today’s business casual environment. In recent years, the hybrid briefcase – part briefcase, part messenger bag – has gained popularity. These offer the func- tionality of a briefcase with the laid-back style of a messenger bag, making them ideal for professionals who need both form and function. Plus, they’re easier on the back, which is always a bonus. The rise of women and the briefcase While the briefcase has long been asso- ciated with men, women have also embraced this iconic accessory, espe- cially as they entered the professional ABE_2511_84-90_Briefcase Journey_13401712.indd 8829/09/2024 09:12@ OUTOFOFFICE MENext >